I Am R'n'F'n'G'n!…For Those About To Rock…I Salute You!

Well folks. Since my last post, we’ve stumbled upon the Easter Holidays. There’s simply no better idea than giving the kids 19 days off. It’s not our kids that bother me. It’s other peoples. Everywhere you go, the EMOs are out in record number just sitting on stairs. The NEDs are drinking their Buckfast and having little orgies. What a wonderful world lol.

We decided that we’d take the kids to Edinburgh Zoo at the start of the holidays, and may I add, the cost of getting in, certainly doesn’t seem worth it anymore. They claim to have over 1000 animals, but i beg to differ. Don’t get me wrong, we had a great day out, Ben loved it, as did I. Ash liked it too, but when you need to push a pram up the hill to any section or animal, it kinda gets tiring. Firstly I was disappointed that there is no longer any Meerkats at the zoo. I guess since Aleksander and Sergei have made them too common to be at the zoo…Simples! Most of the monkeys were in quarantine for rabies as they were new, and there was also many more missing. You do get a good day out, it was warm, and felt really nice to be a little family, but I think as there wasn’t too many animals, they should reduce their costs, instead of it being nearly £40 for 2 adults and a child.

Next on the agenda for the holidays was to let Emily have her first experience at the swimming baths. Ben loves swimming, and i don’t think it’ll be too long until he no longer needs armbands, but Emily being 9 weeks old, only experiences swimming at 7:15 every night  in the 5 inches of water in her bath. Apart from looking cute in her tiny costume, she was really enjoying it. When we had got there, there was a sign on the door saying that the air temperature may be different in the pool area. I think the sign forgot to mention that the water temperature was set to 0 degrees too. I think it’s the first ever time myself and Ashy Bashy have had to go to the big pool because the baby pool was much colder…very weird. I love swimming though, and forget how much until i’m there. Proves I ain’t allergic to water, and gives Ash a way to trick me into having a shower.

On friday, Ash and myself booked a table at Nando’s for some Peri-Peri Chicken, and then went to see Kick-Ass. First off, nando’s is a great little restuarant. They’re chicken is great, and the service is quite quick. It was nice to be out just myself and Ash, as we hadn’t really done it since before Emily was born. The food shaped up nicely for the movie to follow, but as full as i was, I still had to have some sweet popcorn. At a Vue cinema, I like the way it works. You buy your tickets either off your card at the wee machine, or just where you get your popcorn. They then give you the choice of where you want to sit, and the seats are far more comfortable. The small popcorn is cheaper and nearly as big as the large at Cineworld, so was a great deal. Kick-Ass is an awesome film. It does just what it says on the tin. It’s funny as hell, stars McLovin’, and Nicholas Cage was fantastic in it. I felt rather shocked when the 11 year old girl walks into a room, calls everyone ‘cunts’, then kills them all. It’s really that kind of movie. We took a wee drive home through Tullibucket, Alloa etc, and spotted our mysterious red lights in the sky, but they’re another story.

On saturday. Haggis and Mrs Haggis asked if we fancied a wee day in the sun at Callendar Park. Myself, Ash and Emily all went up, and we sat at Callander House and played some football, and rugby…kind of. Throwing the ball counts in my eyes lol. Mrs Haggis mentioned having a BBQ, and before we knew it, we were arranging to go collect Ben and head through for one. Mrs Haggis is quite the mean cook, everything was awesome. After it taking an hour to light the BBQ, and an 11 year old boy showing us how to do it properly, we did get to eat. Afterwards when we were leaving, we suddenly couldn’t find the car key. I had been putting the pram back in the car, and started wondering if i’d left the keys in the boot. My suspicion was aroused when i went out to check, and there’s 5 gypsies standing around the car whispering. By this point, we’ve got the whole house looking for these keys, taking the baby out her car seat incase i stupidly put them there etc. As usual, it was the greedy damn couch that had eaten them.

That’s been my pretty full few weeks, i’ll post again later

So since my last post, things have been quite good. Last weekend Ash and myself got invited to the home of the Haggis’s, to have what we like to call a ‘quiet drink’. If you believe that, then strange you must be. Myself and Ash got the train to Alloa, first time i can ever say i’ve done that in my life, and met Haggis and Mrs Haggis at Asda. Here we decided to go get some alcohol or our small drink. We grabbed our wee trolleys, and walked to the drink section, selected some drink, then like 15 year old all decided to abandon our trolleys and go to Tesco. After making the 500 yard drive there, we decided Asda had better prices, so back we went. When Mrs Haggis started filling her trolley, we soon discovered that our quite drink wasn’t gonna be so quiet after all. We met with with Mrs Haggis’s daughter and the quiet man we called Boab, purely cause that was his name. We arrived at the house, and wasted no time making drinks and getting Singstar on the go. As the night grew longer, the drinks got faster and stronger, from havving a Shag on the Shore, to Jagger Bombs, it’s afe to say, you can feel how the morning was gonna be. In the morning, we all felt strangely ok. It was at this point that we decided we’d head back to Falkirk, thankfully Haggis was heading through so Mrs Haggis could have her tattoo re-touched. We hit McD’s before we were dropped off. It was one of the best nights i’ve had in quite a while, and Ash feels the same. It’s weird how you can go ages without seeing a good friend, and start off again like there’s not been a break in the time you’ve spent together. I realised afterwards just how good a mate Mr Haggis is, and also realised how happy he is with Mrs Haggis. Hopefully it won’t be too long before we do it all again.

This weekend i did security on saturday at Falkirk Vs Hibernian. Game was quite good, but again Falkirk were on the wrong side of a 3-1 scoreline. Now we get to the Darky bit. Ash and myself decided we’d go to Tesco to buy some drink for the evenings entertainment of Modern Family and Jersey Shore. We parked in the pick up bit, as Ash initially intended to just head to the bank, but when she got back to the car, she decided we’d buy drink. I jumped out the car for this twat to say ‘Excuse me, this is a pick up point, so you’ll need to move your car. I’m the manager here so you’ve not got a choice’. Now when i grew up, i was told if your nice to people, you get better results. Was there a cap up his arse as he was collecting trolleys, or was he just a dickhead. I go for the latter. The minute someone throws power in my face, I lose all respect. If he had said it was pick up only, could we possibly move the car, then it wouldn’t be an issue, but to instantly tell me he’s a manager and that i’ve got no choice, well i ain’t gonna move the car very easy. He got a bit of abuse, and then i did move it. All i can say is that atleast I don’t need a visa to be in this country, or work, so if he’s gonna pull that one again, i’m gonna ask to see his documentation.

Anyway another rant over, and another post over

Until more excitement happens, i’ll leave it at that

So it’s been a wook since I posted, and Ashy Bashy has been egging me to do another post with her date watching lol. It’s just aswell she likes reading these, or i’d forget to blog, which might not be a bad thing if some people read it lol. In the past week I have sat my SIA Licence assessments, which I think were piss easy, but that means i’ve probably failed. I sat the assessments on thursday, after 4 days of listening all about doing security in a night club, which is all very well, but I ain’t gonna be doing security in no pub or club, so it was kinda tedious.

Over the weekend it’s been kinda good. Saturday after noon I worked my shift at Falkirk Stadium for the Falkirk Vs St Johnstone game. The job was a piece of piss. Loved the point of going up the stairs every ten minutes and watching ten minutes of the game. Falkirk were robbed again. Some poor finishing, a dodgy penalty decision, and i guess it was a good goal by Kenny Deuchar. Saturday night lead to some Chinese from Lee’s Corner, which under it’s new management, ain’t quite the same, and it lead to some films. We watched Dead Man on Campus, which I love. It’s one of those films that’s rediculous, but probably can and does happen, maybe not to the same level as the film makes it. To make the film better, I had some bottles of Bud, and Ash had a fair few Long Vodkas. Safe to say it made the night go by.

Sunday started well. I woke around 12ish, and got ready to watch the Rangers Vs Dundee United game. Ash was nursing a minor hangover, and decided to tidy up. It’s amazing how when your drunk you make a hell of a mess. Between the football I watched a bit of  Michael Schumachers return to F1. I think he got a good result considering he’s not in a  great car. Back to the Rangers game, a bloody 3-3 draw after being 3-1 up…jebus. Atleast we’re winning the games that matter. Being Mothers Day, we went to Ash’ mum for dinner. Ash had decided to buy Sirloin Steaks for us all, and they went down an treat. It was followed by some yummy Strawberry Gateaux. We came home and Ash bathed Emily, and then we watched Dancing on Ice. At present i’m having some chicken pakora, and were watching The Fourth Kind, which is kind of confusing, but good all the same.

I guess i’ll head now, but i’ll post again soon

Sunday has arrived again, and I personally feel that they’re the best days of the week. To start with, you get the long lay in, something that having a baby kind of kills off. Secondly, you can laze around all day, watching crap tv, but thirdly and most importantly, they’re pyjama days. You don’t feel the urge to get up and shower, or feel you need to go somewhere, you just stay in pyjamas all day, and hope you don’t need to go out. Usually most people spend a sunday suffering the self inflicted sweats of a binge drinking hangover, but drink is something i very rarely have now adays. If i’m going to a party, or we’ve got people over, then yeah, i’ll get bladdered, but usually i ain’t fussed about having a beer now.

Last night we had Jilly Bean and Claire Bear over, between them they’d drink a brewery dry, but no-one drank last night, and we had equally as much fun sober as we would pissed. Youtube provided a few hours of entertainment, from videos about a group of Scottish folk with Tourettes, to Michael Jackson, to Ortopilot (No it ain’t me), to a guy called Sam Tsui. We were all enthralled by everything, and it was a cool night. Ashy Bashy was helping me provide the entertainment, as her knowledge of youtube videos comes in handy. We ain’t sad and sit n youtube all the time, but we have seen a fair few funny videos.

Back to today though, and apart from entertaining Ash with my singing on Guitar Hero 5, and having a very easy dinner thanks to my lovely in-house chef, we’ve basically watched Come Dine With Me, which the voice over guy makes that show, watched Dancing on Ice, if it’s got Phillip Schofield it’s got to be good, and some programme about Gypsy weddings, which was bizarrely entertaining, and somewhat rediculous if you seen the dresses. Right now we’re watching CSI Miami Season 1. Probably between now and bed i’ll watch this, maybe play some Fifa or Heavy Rain, or maybe just go to bed. I’ve got my training course tomorrow, which promises to be good…i think. And on that note…

Ciao for now

So here we are. Middle of the week already, and time seems to be going quickly. Emily has been pretty restless the past few days, there seems to be no stability in the length of time she sleeps or the amount she eats, but she is a baby after all, and when she’s as cute as she is, you can’t be annoyed with her. Ashy Bashy seems to be coping alot better with the lack of sleep, although sometimes she doesn’t actually know she’s awake lol. I’m looking foward to the weekend, possibly so that myself and Ash can go see Alice In Wonderland. It looks awesome, and for Ash it’s an excuse to drool over Johnny Depp for 2 hours. I won’t mind aslong as my shoes don’t get wet lol.

This week at Falkirk Solutions, we’ve pretty much touched on the SVQ Level 2 in Spectator Safety. We were meant to be doing our First Aid on Monday, but sadly there was a mix up, so it’s now going to be tomorrow, and the SFA took control of the whole stadium, chucking out all of the general public…bastards eh? Scotland under-21’s played Azerbaijan that night and drew 2-2, so i hope it was bloody worth it. Today (Wednesday), we completed our learning part of the SVQ level 2, and Friday we’ve got to fill in a huge book and answer 140 questions on what we’ve learned, which will move us onto the practical side of the SVQ, which will involve being a steward at 4 games, but sadly we’ve been denied getting the chance to see Falkirk take more points off Celtic at the weekend.

One of the people i’ve met there called Peter, has offered me the chance at a car, since mines decided to die on me. Peter is a really nice guy. Very wise and not at all annoying, unlike one guy there called Blair, who slows down any chances of a quick bit of progress, by having many negative views and many dodgy, boring stories to share. When he starts talking now, i kinda cringe as he doesn’t know everyone doesn’t care, and kinda feel bad for him that he doesn’t realise what’s going on. I get embarrassed listening to him, so god knows how he doesn’t.

Me and Ash are watching a programme just now called One Born Every Minute. It’s pretty interesting, but makes me glad that Ash ain’t like any of the women on this programme. I want to punch them all or knock them all out. I think we may watch Lost afterwards, although to be honest, for the final season, i’m no less confused with x amount of episodes left, than i was at the start of season 1. I hope they start to finish off stories and mysteries, and start giving a slight idea as to how the show can end. As i completed Heavy Rain last night, and ended up with one main character (Jayden) and one main un-playable character (Lauren) dead, i think i’ll restart it tonight and change the way the game goes. There’s 16 possible stories and outcomes, and i’m gonna get them all.

Shneef ya all later

Well unless you’ve been living like a mushroom, there was a huge game of football on today. I don’t mean Aston Villa Vs Man Utd in the Carling cup final, I obviously mean Rangers Vs Scumtic. With Celtic making more excuses to the papers this week than Gary Glitters ever made to the police, they believed they couldn’t lose. Rangers on the other hand knew that even losing still wasn’t gonna help Celtic. After Scott Brown showed again why animals should be kept in cages, and Kyle Lafferty showed why monkeys are clever enough to fool folk into letting them out of their cages, and a 93rd minute winner for the Queen’s Eleven, it’s fair to say i’m a happy bunny, or teddy bear for that matter, but more so, maybe Celtic will start showing they can win the league on the park, instead of trying to do it in the papers.

On a lighter note. Heavy Rain is getting far better. I think i’ll buy the DLC for it, and play it numerous times to see what happens when all the different characters die etc.

That’s my quick blog over anyway, but i’ll definately be back, whether you like it or not

Catch ya on the Flippy-Flop

Well today was quite a good day. Mr & Mrs Haggis were coming to Falkirk, for what Mr Haggis believed was a look around the tattoo shops, and to pick up his birthday present that i had supposedly collected for them. Little did he know that myself and Mrs Haggis had already made a plan. I offered Mrs Haggis my banjo as a present, as Mr Haggis was having difficulty acquiring one. It was great seeing them both again, and having a little chat with some Hayseed Dixie on in the background. Ashy Bashy chatted with Mrs Haggis about our new arrival Emily, and i caught up with the man who’d travelled through to be here. Eventually we decided to get Haggis his present. He was chuffed with it, as would be expected when you really want something, and i believe Mrs Haggis was too. Win-Win for the happy pair, only for Haggis to agree to give up some Xbox 360 time to play with his new toy, then being to tired, and Mrs Haggis still takes the 360.

After the Haggis’s left, myself and Ashy Bashy had to take Emily round to her mum’s for us to have a night alone. Tonight you see, we were making kiddie pasta. Pasta with smoked sausage in a tomato, onion and garlic sauce, topped with cheese. May I add that it was delicious, and my compliments go out the the chef. Over dinner we decided to watch the new Ant & Dec show ‘Push the Button’, which i fair enjoyed. The best bit is what happens later at night, but not that late yet. We’re watching Die Hard 2, which everyone knows, is a shit hot film, and probably gonna watch something else afterwards. The trouble when you download so many films, is that you never have enough time to watch them all, and you can never agree on what to watch. You fancy something one night, but don’t watch it, then you ain’t in the mood for it again for several months…or that’s what happens here anyway. Maybe later on Ashy Bashy will want to harvest her Farmville, and i’ll play some more Heavy Rain on the PS3, which I recommend to anyone who loves computer games, and outstanding graphics.

Tomorrow I plan to awaken around lunch time, as there’s an important game of football on. Ashy Bashy deserves a long lay, as she does far more than me every day, and sadly, only gets one chance to sleep in now.

This seems to be a normal kinda blog for me, but it may be a rarity, so take a screenshot lol

Catch you folks on the Flip-Flop…later

So…here I am, back on Haggistech blog. I guess the rambling starts now, so let’s not disappoint. 3 weeks ago my Ashy Bashy had our daughter, who we registered yesterday as Emily Anne Green. She’s an awesome baby. Sleeps all day, pretty much all night, and like her daddy. She loves her food. She smiles alot which brightens up any day, and can’t wait till the smile gets bigger, and cheekier. Ash is doing good. She’s very happy, and loves her little girl. I love her sooo much for giving me our precious little gift, and hope she feels the same lol. Tomorrow my good mate Haggis is visiting the wonderful world of Falkirk, and after some gentle persuation, he’s decided to visit. Along with Haggis comes his wife Mrs Haggis…see what i did there lol. Together they make quite the scatty pair, which is all good in my world. I guess a day out of Alloa ain’t such a bad thing after all, but then Falkirk ain’t much of a change.

My plan for this blog is to blog every day or so, and probably gonna be full of random, senseless babble, so if anyone does actually read this, this may be one of the more sensible posts. I’ll keep it short and sweet just now, but hopefully something exciting happens in the next day or so for me to try enlighten you all with

Until then, have a good one